Sometimes the Clouds Come Back

Sometimes the Clouds Come Back – Find the one who will always be that hand on your shoulder, the one who deeply cares, the one who encourages you and fights for you and fights with you. Whoever that is, lean on them. Cry with them. Be angry with them. But most importantly, LISTEN TO THEM. If that person says, “Hey, something isn’t right here. Let’s work on finding you a therapist. Let’s talk with your doctor” LISTEN TO THEM. 

You may feel direct anger towards your person. But DIG DEEP. Your person is the one who can’t live without you. SO LISTEN. DIG DEEPER. Because when you seek out help, it doesn’t only greatly benefit YOU. It greatly benefits those around you. It greatly benefits your person, your family, and your friends. DIG DEEP. DO IT. Search for a therapist. FIGHT IT. YES, IT’S SCARY. YES, IT SUCKS. But guess what? It doesn’t suck forever. Therapy is so FREEING. 

I pushed off therapy for what seems like forever. After my first visit, I was told that I have PTSD. I have been living in a fight or flight state for years. After only a couple months of trauma therapy, I have tools to help me through those clouds. Tools to help my triggers. Tools to help myself, my person, my family and my friends. Tools that I never knew could change my life in such an impactful and meaningful ways. I MADE CHANGES. I not only go to therapy, I now meditate every single day. I exercise 4 times a week. I deleted all personal social media. I deleted all news apps. I am LIVING IN THE PRESENT. I am no longer comparing myself to others. I am NO LONGER STUCK IN THE ZOMBIE SCROLLING STATE OF CONSTANT NEGATIVITY IN MY FACE. 

I AM NO LONGER ANGRY. 

I have a long ways to go. I am on my way to HEALING. I didn’t even realize that I needed healing, but boy does it sound good. I can see it happening. I will keep working on myself. For me, for my person, for my family and friends. 

Yes, I will have set backs, and yes, sometimes the clouds come back. But it’s different this time, because I have the tools to push past those clouds. I have the tools to look beyond those clouds and to see the sunshine ahead. 

IT’S THERE. 

-Natalie

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