Pure Joy – I took one look at my sweet baby nephew, and I felt PURE JOY! It was the most incredible feeling. There he was, this precious little baby, and I FELT HAPPY. I FELT CALM! I FELT SO IN LOVE!
And then I felt sad that I couldn’t have this with my baby.
THIS IS WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE. This is how I should have felt when I laid eyes on my own sweet baby girl 2 years ago.
Instead, I felt electric nerves throughout my entire body. I felt so absolutely out of my mind. I felt like an absolute failure for not falling in love right when I saw her. After all, we had tried and tried and tried to have a baby for over 10 years.
Postpartum depression is REAL. I am here to tell you, that there IS light at the end of the tunnel. You WILL love your own baby. For me, it took medication and an incredibly amazing and supportive husband and family to help me pull through it. And THAT’S OK. Because I’m here now, 2 years later, able to fall in love with my sweet nephew right away. And I know that if we ever do have another baby, it doesn’t have to be like how it was. And if it is, if I do happen to get Postpartum depression again, I know that my body needs the help of medication right away. There is NO SHAME.
I went through what I went through, and it made me STRONGER. I LOVE MY DAUGHTER SO FIERCELY I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE SHE IS REAL SOMETIMES! You WILL get there. You are NOT alone.
IF YOU NEED HELP, GO TO:
Call or Text our HelpLine
You are not alone and you are not to blame. PSI is here to help. You will get better.
Call 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD)
English and Spanish
Text English: 800-944-4773
Text Spanish: 971-420-0294
Available 24 hours a day, you will be asked to leave a confidential message and a trained and caring volunteer will return your call or text. They will listen, answer questions, offer encouragement and connect you with local resources as needed.